How can Unitarian Parents Answer Theological Questions?

Last month we held our first parenting group meeting to discuss this issue. The topic was essentially: what is theology, and how do we relate to it with our children as open-minded, religious liberals who do not wish to tell other people what to believe?

Theological discussions may not always seem necessary to Unitarians, but I feel that kids intuitively come up with these questions all the time. Kids ask about the "meaning" of life, or the reason we are here, daily (try counting how many times your 4-year-old asks 'why?' in the course of one evening!) Children want to know what happens to their beloved pet after they die. They are also very interested in fairness, what is right, and how and why we are suppose to behave a certain way.

I think it's also important to recognize that children do not grow up in a spiritual vacuum. A very well intentioned and diligent atheist parent may teach their child a completely rational approach to life, but that child will inevitably encounter other children who believe in a God, go to a church, and may even sometimes tell them that they will be condemned for not being a part of that faith. Many kids come up with questions about other people's theology and what relationship they ought to have to those foreign concepts.

Of course, we will never be able to dictate what a Unitarian parent should offer as a response to theological questions. We don't really do definitive answers, after all. Our group did, however, agree on a general approach.

Sharing Our Beliefs
We felt that it was important to share our own personal views and perspectives. Young children, especially, are likely to want to know what their family believes. They tend to take comfort in having a clear idea of their family's identity, and will probably adopt that viewpoint initially.

Exposing our Kids to Other Beliefs
The group also affirmed that we ought to acknowledge a wider variety of beliefs, so that children are aware that we are open to talking about the other possibilities. This is an important door to have open when it comes to assuring them that they are not going to go to hell for supporting gay rights, sleeping in on a Sunday, or if they don't worship the right "God".

Letting Them Know It's Okay to be Different
Finally, we felt that children needed to hear that we were accepting of alternatives; that we didn't need them to believe exactly what we believe, so long as their chosen path reflects kindness, compassion and honesty.

Amongst us there was an awareness that the beliefs that comfort some may not do the same for others. A parent who takes comfort in the idea that there is no stern, disciplinarian waiting to judge our lives after we die may have a child who does not take comfort in the idea that there might be no heaven. We felt that it was important that children experience the freedom to derive their own meaning from life and use their own imaginations in the creation of their personal theologies.

Thanksgiving

This weekend we will take a moment to celebrate and be thankful for the community we share.

Our classes will be combined so that younger and older children can work together. I think it is important to offer children these opportunities to mentor each other.

The pathfinders will help our Chalice Children craft lovely autumn gnomes, write out a list of things they are thankful for, sing songs, and share in an abundance of healthy treats.

Hope to see you there!

Happy Thanksgiving

Storytelling Halloween, October 31st

Have you picked out your costume yet?

On October 31st we will be having our Halloween extravaganza! During the service there will be a parade of Halloween costumes and a story for all ages.

Following the service there will be lots of warm soup and yummy treats to eat, a meditative labyrinth walk in the sanctuary, and storytelling by some very special guests.

Don't miss our Halloween fun! And remember, the coolest adults wear Halloween costumes too.